WEIGHT. It is a six letter word that carries, well, a lot of weight. We, as humans, either weigh too much, not enough, gain too much, lose too much, but for many we never seem to be able to find the perfect weight. If someone would have told me 10 years ago that today I would be one of those health nuts and workout addicts, I would have laughed in their face and said, "Yeah right." And yet, here I am, but it was a long path that got me here and a long path that still lies ahead.
I have struggled with my weight for the better part of my life. I quit ice skating when I was 12 years old and became a lazy kid and eventually a lazy teenager. It was not until my last two years of high school when I got back into an activity with dance and although that helped get me off my butt, it did not help the pounds that said butt accumulated over the years disappear. I was about 165 pounds in high school and back then that was considered a size 14 and by all comparisons to the other girls on my dance team, I was definitely on the other end of the size spectrum. I pretty much stayed that same weight until I was about 19 years old and then, without really trying, I started losing a bunch of weight and got down to 148 pounds by the time I was 21. It was pretty easy to lose when all I was really doing was dancing at clubs, drinking and smoking cigarettes. Back then I never cared what I put in my body, whether it was food or something else. I was just living it up.
Eventually after I slowed down, all that lost weight caught up to me and I was creeping back up to my old high school weight and then some. I would work out here and there, watch what I ate, but was never dedicated or serious about it to make those long term, lifestyle commitments. When I was 26, I finally quit smoking (a habit that I did pick up again & recently have to kick again) and joined my first gym, one of those that everything is done in private and you follow the same program day in and day out. I went almost every day, watched what I ate (still not knowing the true meaning of eating clean) and lost about 10 pounds. I felt great and was seeing changes, but in typical "me" fashion, I quit going because I was bored with the program. So here we go again.
Six years ago, I made the move back to Houston from Dallas and during that month around Christmas before I started my new job, I sat around, ate, drank and got up to 185 pounds, the biggest I'd ever been up to that point in my life. Well, this time I was fed up and knew things needed to change. New year, new beginnings, right? So I joined a real gym this time and got myself a personal trainer and started reading and researching a healthier lifestyle. Over the course of 8 months, I got down to 160 pounds, the smallest I'd been since high school. I looked great, felt great and was really committed to this lifestyle. I was even looking into becoming a personal trainer myself so that I could help those that were just like me. I had made this my whole life, though, that I forgot what it was like to get out and live. I had started a new job further away from my gym and quickly I was slipping again until I just quit going. Over the years, and after a few broken hearts, there I was again but this time it was the biggest I had been in my whole life at 198 pounds. I was miserable with myself, my job, my life and I just wanted to find the old me again.
One thing that I hated about myself whenever I was at that weight during that
dark time was how little confidence I had in myself and how I would
beat myself up about how I looked. It really took its toll on me and my self esteem and I was not sure I would ever feel "beautiful" again. It would take a while to get back on track, but I started working out again last April and watching what I ate. I lost a few pounds and I was excited, this time I was going to keep at it. In July, one of my favorite bands that I have grown to love over the last year announced that they were playing a show in New Orleans in October. It was that moment I made a goal to lose 30 pounds by that show because I wanted to meet them, thank them for their inspiring music and I wanted to have the confidence to be able to do that. I got up at 4am almost every day, worked out, got strict about what I ate and I did it. I cannot tell you the excitement and pride I felt that day before I left for my trip and weighed myself to see that I was finally back to the weight I was for my thirtieth birthday.
Over the last few months, I have kept at it. I have totally changed my attitude about myself. I do not allow myself to put me down for my faults and I am very careful about the things I put into my body. I have an inner circle of great support and have also inspired and have been assisting with others work towards their new healthy lifestyle. I am addicted to that happy feeling I get from working out. I love the way I feel when I do and I love seeing the changes that are happening. I did not get this way overnight so getting to where I want to be is not going to happen overnight either.
So, I ask you, what are you rebelling against? Do you want to continue on your path or do you want to live and lead a healthy lifestyle? Today is exactly seven months from my 35th birthday and my goal is to be in the best shape and health I have ever been in my entire life. Tomorrow I begin a new journey on my path and will be starting the
P90X classic workout. It is going to be hard and I am going to want to give up, but I hope you will hold me accountable. Join me on this adventure and in 90 days we can welcome a whole new version of me.